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Doubt, No More

I wonder what the clinical term for is for a person who has bouts of self-doubt? Not the type of doubt that stems from a person not believing in themselves but the type of doubt that comes from listening to the voices of others who may not believe in your dreams as you do. I’m talking about the type of let-down a person feels when they think they have done something great only to be told that what they have done just isn’t good enough. Does that type of self-doubt stem from a lack of confidence in your own ability to succeed or does it stem from putting too much trust in others to support your ideas and dreams?

Some people who have made their dreams come true will tell you they didn’t need anyone to believe in them. They say that the key to their success came from not telling anyone what their dreams were because people can be dream killers. The only thing they needed was the idea and the rest is history. One of my dudes had a personalized license plate that read THX2NO1 because he was a self-made man. Interesting concept and I can say that he did stand on his own in a lot of areas. But I also know that without a support system in place to help see him through when he had to take a knee things could have been much different. Not a support system of people who had shoulders for him to cry on but stood with by him when he was going through whatever it was at that time. Sometimes they stood silently and just went along for the ride. I call that being a true road-dog. Jay-Z said “I’m like a dog, I understand but I never speak…” And that can be a beautiful thing to have in your corner.

For me I have a tendency to tell others what my dreams are. I get excited and I want to tell someone because I want to see the same gleam in their eyes as mine, but when it doesn’t go that way I shut down. It sucks being me sometimes, the trusting part of me that is. I’m a dreamer but I’m around realest who grind it out day to day. There is nothing wrong with the safe bet and I’ve been that for a long while but there are moments that I can see my life slipping by me and the talents that I have in front of me right now will be gone. The books that I have in my head that I should be releasing on blank pages are still contained in my mind and unreleased thoughts become contaminated. I know there is a writer inside of me and although I may not be a degreed thinker, my thoughts are profound and pure because I write with a sense of purpose. My thoughts are enlightened by my experiences, various conversations, and the multitude of books I read. I know I am destined to do this.

My doubts aren’t caused by listening to people who Hate on my skills. My moments of  doubt come into play because the safe road is what pays my bills and the words of the people who are telling me to keep praying and keep moving on the steady path are ringing true. Michael Jordan said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and I need to start shooting until my right hand cramps up! No one knows what’s in my heart or in this case in my head and they never will until I begin to write, release, write, release, and keep on giving it all away. What’s in my head is an idea that became a book of more than two that will become best sellers (yes, I am speaking it into existence).

What’s in my gut is this burning to let go and let God have his way with this gift he has given me. He is the author of this book titled “Nate ‘71”and I’ve played it safe for too long. I’ve dimmed the light that he made a way for me to shine with. It is time to burn brighter and hotter than ever before! From up here in The Cheap Seats I have my ticket paid for in full by a sacrifice of one. Writing these blogs is one way of letting go and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to sit down next to me in The Cheap Seats and read, share, like, laugh and sometime get a little teary eyed with me. Trust me, that support eases the doubt and allows me to turn the page and start the next chapter.